We greet the coming of fall with anticipation of crisp, cool weather and a season of celebrations, parties, and social events with friends and family lasting through the New Year. The excitement builds through the big Thanksgiving meal and then it hits us – Christmas is coming like a steam roller. This year was going to be different we vowed last year, but it seems that with each passing year the holidays create increased anxiety and stress. What happened to love, joy and peace? What happened to the real reason for the season? The stress is compounded by the desire of parents to make sure their children find happiness on Christmas morning. The stockings are hung, shopping is done, presents are wrapped and all that is left is opening of the gifts. In a few short minutes, Christmas is over. Once again the promise of Christmas morning leaves families empty and void of hoped for happiness. We see our children entranced in front of an electronic game, leaving the toys they had begged for in a pile on the floor.

Is it possible for children to learn to have grateful hearts and generous spirits? Yes, parents who express love and model charity can help children develop a giving heart. Take time to evaluate your own family values. Make a list and prioritize the values you would like to see in your children when they become adults. Use teachable moments to model your family values during the holiday season. The following list represents values that may be appropriate to highlight during your family time: restraint, calmness, focus, hope, patience, compassion, mercy, understanding, generosity, cooperation, gentleness, sincerity, caring, thoughtfulness, kindness, and responsibility.

• Be the voice of restraint for children. They don’t need everything they see on TV or in stores. Media ads are designed to make children want what they see or hear.
• Children can learn patience and contentment by not getting everything they want.
• Children who are given an allowance should be taught to save part, give part away to charity or church, and be allowed to spend part.
• Children need to be exposed to people who don’t have as much. A few weeks before Christmas, help them pick out toys, books and clothes to give away to those less fortunate.
• Focus on the true meaning of the holiday season. This will vary with your faith, culture, and heritage. Ask your family for ways to simplify holiday traditions.
• Consider making one of your holiday traditions a time set aside to volunteer with a church, charity, or community organization. Involve your children in selecting the activity.
• Limit television viewing and monitor commercials. Involve children in baking, reading holiday classics, shopping, wrapping, and mailing cards. These are fun activities that will keep minds and hands busy and out of trouble.
• Keep family schedules as normal as possible. Children are comforted by routines and may need a break during holiday preparations. Plan a walk or a time to play games with your children.
• Keep travel destinations and family events to a minimum. Discuss plans and schedules ahead of time with your children. They will be more cooperative if they have been involved in the planning.
• Model financial responsibility by sticking to a spending budget. This will help children understand that they should also keep to their budgets and not overspend.
• Monitor gift wish lists and have a discussion ahead of time, with your children, to head off disappointments on Christmas morning. Help them to make good choices concerning what they really want. Is it too expensive? Is it something they already have? For instance, a child may wish for a puppy but your home cannot accommodate a high maintenance pet. Ask them to consider another type of pet.
• Have your children leave something by the tree for Santa.
• Tell your children how proud you are of their generosity, caring, responsible actions, and cooperation. Be specific with your encouragement.
• Last but not least, have fun with your children.

During this holiday season, you can begin to set the stage for developing children who have grateful hearts and caring spirits. Continue using teachable moments throughout the year to reinforce the family values as agreed to by your family. You will be developing children who will grow up to be trustworthy, responsible, compassionate citizens.

Have a Happy Holiday Season,

Deb and Susan

“No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” - Calvin Coolidge